By Celine Hert
Simple Yet Effective Ways to Improve Your Relationship with Self-Confidence
Self-Confidence allows you to see yourself in a vibrant light. It is something that comes from within you that reflects onto how you carry yourself as an individual as well as how people see you. When you transpire self-confidence within yourself, you are able to love yourself more, and believe in your abilities to achieve your dreams and ambitions – all of which promotes you to becoming the better version of yourself!
Here are a few simple but very effective ways that you can improve your relationship with your personal confidence and self-esteem.
How to Take it Easy and Engage in Positive Self-talk
We tend to be so hard on ourselves, and I know you are too!
More often than not, whenever we find ourselves facing an adverse situation, we tend to engage in negative talk and self-blame. Let’s work to break this habit and instead coach ourselves to use kind and gracious methods to overcome those obstacles.
Rather than engaging in negative ruminating thoughts such as:
- I hate myself for falling into this problem
- Why did I have to make such a stupid mistake?
- Things like this only happen to me because I’m worthless
Try to engage in a more understanding, positive, and uplifting reflection process like:
- I wonder what led me to make this decision, what was I feeling during that moment?
- Making mistakes is a part of the learning process, what lesson have I learned?
- The next time I come across an obstacle, how can I react differently?
Do you see the vast difference between the first and second inner dialogue? Of course, you do! The first few thoughts ignite a hurricane of self-blame and shame, whereas the second series of thoughts launch a compassionate and problem-solving mindset – one that encourages us to work on becoming better versions of ourselves through reflection.
By practicing the positive reflection over time, it’ll eventually become habitual and you will begin to realize that we are all on this gigantic world to learn from those around us in our life journey. Life encompasses an abundance of learning opportunities. Bestie, I promise you, after you work on shifting to a positive thought process, you will no longer absorb all unexpected situations in a personal manner that plummets your confidence and self-esteem; you will begin to react peacefully to each situation as it comes!
You Won Your Bragging Rights
Yes, I’m asking you to brag about all your accomplishment that you are proud of – in a nice way of course hahahah 😉
Grab a pen, paper, and your thinking cap – I’ll be right here waiting.
Now, let’s get started.
We’re going to make a blueprint of aaaaall your accomplishments that you are proud of. We are listing everything, all the way from the small wins to the biggest (perfecting your favorite carrot cake eating breakfast, working out regularly, graduating, getting your first job, buying something for yourself, dedicating time and effort on an assignment).
Why, what’s the importance of this, you may ask?
The easy and straightforward answer is: time flies, and we tend to overlook all the obstacles that we’ve successfully overcome and made us who we are. You do not give yourself enough credit for your perseverance, courage, strength, and patience. It’s extremely important to take a moment and process where you are in life and how far you’ve made it. Reflect on your wins, acknowledge how beautifully resilient you are, and remind yourself that there is still so much love and greatness to come in your near future. This blueprint of your successes is an essential self-esteem and confidence booster that we often tend to neglect. With a bit more mindfulness and effort, you will begin to appreciate your self-worth, just as you always should!
YOU Are The Main Character, Not Those Around You
I see your eye lurking left and right, girly. Stop comparing yourself to others that are around you. I know it can be tempting, but this is really hurting your mental health – and trust me you are not alone! Unfortunately, many of us tend to fall into this hole for a certain period where we are externally focused on what other people may have or accomplished. When this happens, we wave bye bye to our self-esteem and confidence as it is harshly impacted. Think of it in this way: compare=despair.
Rather than measuring your successes based on your peers’ successes, measure your wins using your own personal goals. Everyone has different standards and objectives in life, we all use different tools to help us get to where we want to be. With this in mind, redirect yourself outside your mental obsessive loop and use your own yardstick to keep track of your ambitions.
A Cute Little Blowout is a Girl’s Best Friend
The reality is that we do not always have the ability to control how others perceive us. However, you my friend are in full control of how you see yourself.
With the power of your brilliant mind, you hold the ability to shift the narrative of your confidence and self-esteem. When it is that time of the month and you are feeling iffy and uncomfortable with yourself, seeing yourself in a new physical light is what you may need. So, alongside the effort you are putting into enhancing the inner workings of character, a cute and elegant tune-up to your appearance can double up your confidence and compliment the process. Go get that voluminous Jennifer Lopez haircut you’ve always wanted but were too timid to commit to it, treat yourself to a vibrant mani-pedi and shift up your entire wardrobe to match your Pinterest aesthetic board. This quick confidence boost will go the longest way, trust me love!
People tend to treat us the way we carry ourselves. The beliefs that you hold about yourself are contagious to those around you. So, if you feel your best, love your fresh new set of nails, and adore your new haircut… you will feel fully empowered to take on life as it comes! When your self-esteem is secured, you are more likely to experience resilience when encountering obstacles, because you will be less likely to hold yourself tightly to other’s opinions about you.
Schedule in a break to the spa, nail and/or hair salon and start implementing these methods into your routine! I’m going to hold you accountable, I’ll check in on you next week.
